Healthy Relationships
What is a Relationship
A relationship (noun) is “a connection formed between two or more people or groups based on social interactions and mutual goals, interests, or feelings” (Oxford English Dictionary). Throughout our lives, we will form many relationships with other people. Some relationships may be transactional and temporary, whereas others may be close and permanent. It is important that we prioritize having healthy relationships with the people we are close to, including friends, roommates, family, classmates, and romantic partners. By practicing healthy relationships in all aspects of our lives, we can normalize healthy behavior and recognize red flags more quickly. It’s important to note that the signs of power and control can pop up in any relationship.
Relationships are connections formed between people or groups based on social interactions, shared goals, or feelings.
Prioritizing healthy relationships with friends, roommates, classmates, and romantic partners is important. By prioritizing positive relationship habits, a stronger connection can be built, and warning signs are recognized when they arise.
Do You Know the Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Healthy relationships are built on equality. The concept of the Equality Wheel highlights key components that help create a healthy relationships.
Equality means working together to make decisions, ensuring all voices are heard, and creating an environment where each person has an equal role in shaping the relationship.
The following components represent qualities that support equality in relationships:
Trust & Support
- You can believe, rely on, and be kind to one another
- You support one another’s passions and goals
- Emotionally affirming and understanding one another
- Knowing that you aren’t manipulating, misleading, or taking advantage of one another
Safety & Comfort
- Ensuring you can express yourselves
- Creating an environment where everyone feels safe
- Knowing that you won’t intentionally hurt one another
Negotiation & Fairness
- Seeking mutually-satisfying resolutions to conflict
- Accept changes
- Being able to agree to disagree
- Being willing and able to compromise
- Prioritizing fair, equitable distribution of responsibilities
Honesty & Accountability
- Accepting responsibility for yourselves and your actions
- Admitting when you are wrong, apologizing, and seeking to make amends
- Communicating openly and truthfully
- Holding each other accountable
Respect
- Appreciating one another’s viewpoints, opinions, beliefs, and decisions
- Setting, observing, and respecting each other’s boundaries
- Recognizing the importance of the relationship, treating it with care
Independence
- Giving each other room to breathe
- Prioritizing yourself. Taking time alone or with others you care about
- Not expecting each other to fulfill all of your needs, complete you, or solve all problems
Boundaries surround the Equality Wheel. They help define the limits and expectations we set for ourselves within and outside of relationships. Healthy boundaries empower individuals to say “no” when necessary while also embracing valued experiences.
What are Some Signs of an Abusive Relationship
The Power and Control Wheel is a tool used to understand the signs of abusive relationships. Power and control are often at the root of relationship abuse. Abuse involves exerting dominance over another person. Any one of these behaviors can point to an abusive relationship.
Emotional Abuse
- Putting you or making you feel bad about yourself
- Playing mind games
- Making you feel guilty
- Name-calling
Isolation
- Controlling what you do or read
- Controlling who you see or talk to
- Controlling where you go
- Limiting your involvement with others or keeping you from seeing family or friends
- Using jealousy to justify their actions
Economic/Academic Abuse
- Controlling your access to money and/or classes
- Preventing you from getting or keeping a job or going to class
- Taking your money
Coercion & Threats
- Threatening to embarrass or leave you
- Pressuring you to commit illegal actions or engage in behaviors you don’t want to
- Threatening to hurt themselves or end their own life
- Making or carrying out threats to hurt you
Minimize, Deny, & Blame
- Gaslighting
- Making light of abuse
- Saying the abuse didn’t happen
- Saying you caused the abuse
- Shifting responsibility of abusive behavior
Intimidation
- Making you feel afraid by using looks, actions, or gestures
- Displaying weapons
- Destroying things or property when angry
- Abusing your pets or children
Violence is often used as the mechanism to exert power and control over another person. Relationship violence is prohibited under the UT Policy on Sexual Harassment, Sexual Assault, Dating and Domestic Violence, and Stalking. There are resources and supports available for students who have experienced or are experiencing relationship violence.